Nom, Nom, Nom

Now listen, you already know this isn’t your typical blog, and at times it reads very provocatively and can be somewhat risque. Well, I like pushing the envelope; I like being a rebel; and I like talking about inappropriate things. And I probably won’t change any time soon, besides you guys like it, that’s why you read them anyway! But honestly, I talk about things that are interesting and what most folks are afraid to discuss because some of y’all stay doing the most with your judgment. LBVS


This is a touchy subject, one I know will have knee-jerk reactions, especially from men, well, from women too, but I just want to ask…

If a man says he likes getting his salad toss and having his prostate “massaged”,  does this automatically make him gay, or at a minimum, bisexual?

Nom, Nom, Nom.

Now let me say his, I am a person that is sexually free in mind and deed. I don’t have too many, if any hangups or mental blocks when it comes to sexuality and how people express themselves. I will say though, based on social programming alone, AND living in Atlanta (which you already know I believe Atlanta has a certain sexual energy on the city that is unparalleled by any comparable metropolitan city) inquiring about a man’s sexuality upfront is something I think would be a wise thing for women to do.

With having said that, I have to admit, even with all my free-thinking, I still have a teeny part of me that struggles with the idea that a man likes me back-dooring him while still considering himself completely heterosexual. Listen, I am not trying to unload this layered subject of sexuality, gender identification, same sex attraction, or sexual fluidity here. Not even. But listen, I live in Atlanta, G – A, and we all know the reputation here.

Look, I’ve looked it up, and research proves that men that like prostate stimulation, including eating their groceries or tossing their salads, or even those that like digital penetration does not mean a man is gay or even bisexual. After all I believe every part of a person’s body, male or female, can be and is meant for sexual gratification. So why are we so hung up on men that like to experience pleasure in their back door, when women do it all the time? I mean I am in groups where women admit to liking…no loving anal sex. Does not the asshole serve the same purpose for a woman as a man and if so, why is it taboo if a man likes his stimulated? Actually, men probably get more pleasure in there because their “G Spot” is actually located all up and through their back door. I mean what is wrong with women knocking on the back door for entrance?

Since moving to Atlanta, I have had some interesting experiences. One such was with a man that I have to admit, the moment he hiked his ass up, I was like “what the entire #^@%#!”



My first reaction was, he has done this before and I just met a down low brother! Shit. I mean, I thought I had the best radar and could spot these brothers a mile away. But this brother was fine, handsome, very masculine, a huge flirt, and a true ladies’ man, all the signs of a player, not a down low brother, right?  But y’all, it was a bit much for me when I saw how comfortable he was with hiking his ass up in the air, and lying on his back with his legs in the air, just like a woman. It was just uncomfortable, but a part of me was like, let this brother live…right? And then I remembered that “research” I mentioned, and I didn’t want to be presumptuous and judgmental and put this brother in a box, and you know me, I’m always giving folks the benefit of the doubt. In hindsight, I’m wondering if I was just being naive. Ultimately, I think my hang ups got the better part of me.

Here are my questions? What’s wrong with a man allowing himself to be pleasured that way orally or by penetration, especially since women do it too? Does it make him bisexual (sex is so fluid now days, does it even matter)?  If a heterosexual man likes for only his woman to penetrate him with her fingers or even a dildo, do you think that is the gateway for sexual exploration with other men? What is wrong with providing pleasure to your mate however they like it? Why can’t men be free enough to explore their bodies the way it is accepted for women to do all kinds of crazy shit? These are all questions I am asking myself, and I want answers, knowing, there is no right or wrong answer. But is there?

Brothers, what do you think? Ladies are you comfortable with pleasuring your man this way if he lets you know he likes this?

Talk to me.

Until next time,

Smooches sugas!




Single sisters, can you get down with the get down?

Let me tell you, I love this blog, a lot, but what I get a rise out of most is doing live streams on Facebook, interacting with all my friends. Well, I do status updates and live streams, all befitting of the #SOFA brand, so they actually belong here anyway, but because they are generally spontaneous and organic conversations, ain’t nobody got time to be doing a live stream and/or status update, and then turn around and do a blog! I ain’t doing it. I’ve decided to share a few of the live streams here on the blog. Mind you, they are older than the current blogs, but still relevant content.

For those of you who are only familiar with my writing here, you may wonder “who is this Marla chick, and what is she like?” Well, after listening to this video, you’ll no longer wonder who I am and what I’m like. Trust me on that. And listen, some things I post just to cause a little controversy, don’t think you know where I stand completely on any issue, hell I may change my mind before you draw your conclusion!

Let me set this up; I asked a question on January 13th to my Facebook family, and boy let me tell you, I started a sh&@^! storm that day, but that is nothing unusual for me. LOL  I mean, I was making a simple status update and it garnered so many comments, I lost count, but that happens a lot. I mean, can a sister just ask a simple question? *snickers*

Here is what my status update said verbatim:

Would you rather have a wealthy man that provides everything for you, you never want for anything, you travel regularly, and able to pursue your dreams because he doesn’t mind supporting them financially, but he admits and you are aware that he sleeps with other woman on occasion (with protection)?


Would you rather be involved with a man that is struggling financially, but pays his part (and that is it), but you can’t do much else in life, and you life is predictable and limited, but he is faithful.

FOR THE SAKE OF THIS QUESTION, the rich man cherishes you, and doesn’t bring drama into your home. Also, both men love you and don’t ever plan to leave you because you add value to his life. AND finally, let’s rule out STDs or your health being at risk, and assume he is very careful, never does anything without protection and is into quality more than quantity.


If you want to see the full video with me addressing their responses, follow this link below:

Poor Man or Rich Man? What’s Your Deal-breaker?

Tell me what you would do, leave your comments!

Until next time,

Smooches sugas!

I Found Love on a Two-Way Street…

…well kinda-sorta, actually it wasn’t a street at all, but Interstate 285,  in morning rush hour traffic. And honestly, it wasn’t love…wait, it could be, maybe, down the road (pun intended), but more than likely, it’s just another example of how my life is really that of tall tales and misadventure. Besides I really like that song by Stacy Lattisaw, and it came to mind this morning while driving. So I wrote a story about it, “like to hear it, here it go”.


Today started like any other morning, other than I woke up early and lied in the bed 10 minutes longer than normal, which means I was rushing to get out on time.  I’m anal, so I like to be in the same place on the interstate at the same time every day. Surprisingly, I made up for time because the traffic was really easy this morning.

The phone rings at the same time traffic all of a sudden slowed down to a crawl. It never fails, it’s the same spot every day. Anyway, I look for my phone, which is in the middle cup holder, thinking to myself, “who is calling me this early in the morning?” It was my long time friend, actually it was my “ex”, if you will, calling to check on me from last night. See, last night I hosted my first #SOFAInTheCity at one of my favorite spots. “Good morning beautiful”, he says.  I smiled and returned the pleasantry with “hey you”.  We talked I know for a good 10 minutes, then it happened.

As an aside, they, whoever they are, often say you will find love in the most unsuspecting places, when you’re least expecting, and I have always wondered what my “least expecting” place or time would be. I would think, will it be the grocery store, the park, at the gym, where? Anyhoo, let me tell y’all what just happened to me. Mind you, it’s in the middle of rush hour traffic, in Atlanta, on 285.

Y’all, I am driving, in the 2nd left lane from the highway divider, but I normally only drive in the furthest left lane. Well today, I was switching between the two, I mean, I’m just impatient like that and always trying to catch the fastest flow of traffic. Mind you, I’m still on my phone talking to my friend, and I slipped up and said “look at that guy in that Range looking at me”.  What he didn’t know was I was looking in my side mirror to see if he was looking at me too, trying to catch up. Well wouldn’t you know it, his lane starts going faster and mine slows down, so I said “oh well, there that goes”. I ended up jumping back in his lane about three cars behind him and continued my conversation with my friend. Then it happened.

I got back over in the 2nd left lane and I passed him, again. He then catches up, but as I watched him in my side mirror, I could tell he was slowing his speed so he could, hell, I don’t know, do something. This is where I get trifling (and please don’t let me friend read this blog, he will talk about me). I was a little nervous, but getting excited because I had already seen him and scoped out he was a cutie pie.

It all happened so fast!  I “accidentally”, in mid-sentence, hung up on my friend!  OMG I couldn’t believe I did that, I told him to “hold o..”  and next thing I know, CLICK!  I then hit the button to let my window down, after all, this seemed the only right thing to do since he rolled his down too. On the interstate. In back to back rush hour traffic. In the morning. To flirt.


Hell, this was an emergency! What were the chances we would ever meet again? I mean, sure, we could risk just meeting up in traffic again another morning, but really, what were the chances of that happening? I mean, here we were smack dab in traffic, both us slowed down to at least 35 mph just to get his number. And me with my dumb self, couldn’t hear a word he was saying, and between him trying to hold the steering wheel, yell to me his number, and his active sign language using BOTH of his hands, I finally got the number. I mean, this was going down no matter what, he really wanted to give me his number, and I really wanted his number. I was already vibing high from the night before and expecting something good to happen. Whew child, you all should have seen us! Funny thing is, no one blew a horn or cursed us out.

I mean I think we were absolutely right to do what we did, you just have to take risks in life sometimes, right? Who knows, this could be my future husband…or maybe not.

Chile, I called him, he answered, and he had a thick accent, and I immediately knew he was from some country in Africa, more than likely Nigeria from his accent. But hey, I’m no expert on accents from the motherland, but I do know a thing or two about Nigerian men. The interesting thing is, the very first thing he asked for was my IG account and a few other things. I mean, I know I told y’all I like aggressive men, but DAYUM!!!

I bet you all want to know what happened next huh?

Until next time,

Smooches sugas