The Case for the Ego

“Hey Miss Lady…aye, you sure look good. What’s yo name? You gotta man? You just gone keep walking? Miss Lady, Miss Lady, you gotta man?”


Me and my Sorors were talking about this just yesterday, how we could be out and about, minding our business, and here comes this gentleman. Not to slight anyone at any stage of their life and the challenges they may face, but how many times have you been approached by a man you know doesn’t stand a chance? The funny part is, this brother isn’t thinking about you or your prerequisites  and he isn’t intimidated by you either. Isn’t that what we want anyway? Maaaaaan I’ll get hit on by this brother 50 times walking down the street, yet the ones I think should be approaching me don’t! Why is that?!

How many times have I heard “some men may be intimidated by you”, not just in reference to me personally, but in response to other women who present as well-put together, accomplished, sometimes educated, financially secure women (you know they get the wrap of being an “independent woman” as if that is a bad thing, and means different things to different people). Like, what does that mean anyway, why is a grown man intimidated by a woman?  I tell you what, I think it is an excuse.

What can we learn from this hypothetical, yet real archetype above?

When EGO and PRIDE are out of the way, you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Women love risk takers, men who know what they want and go for it, like Mr. Man above. I am tired of going to the grocery store, locking eyes with a fine dude, see him aisle to aisle, only to end up in the same check out line, and you can tell he wants to say something, but he lets you walk out the store without saying  word. Like for real, stop waiting for a smoke signal and come on over and get your “Miss Lady” on, just don’t be grimy with it. This is not to say I have a problem making the first move, and I hate rejection just like the next person, but I hear too many men using this intimidated excuse simply because a woman appears to not need HIM. Seems to me more like insecurity issues; maybe it is because a woman drives a nicer car, makes more money, carries herself confidently, and sure of what she wants. Maybe we all should deal with our own perceptions of our self worth so we can stop projecting on the opposite sex (you see how I didn’t make this just a man thing?) So let’s stop with the victim game and playing “intimidated”, when it’s your insecurities and a case for the ego. Brother man up above has no insecurities, his worth is not based on what he has or doesn’t have, clearly, because old dude really “be” trying to get that number! But I don’t want or need an intimidated man.

Ladies, maybe it is time we give men like the one pictured above a shot, you know fix him up and give him a shot…


I was just playing. My “work with a brother” days are over. Hell, you do remember I am single and over 40…IN ATLANTA. Enough said.

Until next time…

Smooches sugas