Getcho Hand Out of My Popcorn!

I am in a Facebook group, matter of fact, it is a group all about match-making, with people serious about being commited. I have restricted my participation on Facebook because they can be consuming and a major distraction. But tonight I saw a post and I was like “dang, did I write this”, so I had to share. Christina OJ posed the question, but I literally could have written it because it actually happened to me exactly like it was written.

I decided to post it here. I am not going to share in the post what I did, but my old school sensibilities definitely were challenged . I mean, I consider myself pretty progressive as a woman, and I don’t necessarily ascribe the way with traditional gender roles. But dang, some things are hard to change, I mean there are some gender roles that should never change. Shoot, I’m an OG when it comes to dating, and I ain’t apologizing for it.

I want to hear from you, especially the men, so here goes!

Dating scenario question:

Man asks woman to movies, she accepts. He buys tickets. They meet at location.

He does not offer to buy concessions but she is hungry and didn’t have time to eat before the movie.

Response 1: Does she sweetly ask him to get her some popcorn and a drink?

OR

Response 2: Does she go buy what she wants and ask him if he wants anything? If he says yes, does she pay for his food? (Even if it costs more than the movie ticket)

OR

Response 3: Does she just go to the counter and order her stuff and eat it in front of him?

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SOUND OFF!

Smooches sugas

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Roadtrip!

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All I need right now is a martini shaker, some Ketel One, two lemons, Triple Sec, and a phone call out the blue that says:

Caller: “Hey Marla, you’re off next weekend, get ready to pack a bag, call the boys’ dad, and don’t ask any questions. We’re going on a road trip. Let’s ride”.

Sigh.

Long sigh.

Longer sigh.

Shit.

Ladies, I know some of you can relate. I mean this single life is for the birds – sometimes. Summertime is two months away, there will be so many concerts, barbecues, and pool parties, and it would be good to have someone to take with you, especially when you know there will be other couples at these events. You kind of get tired of going to Wolf Creek with you and your girls, while you watch all the love bugs having fun with other couples. Then there are the vacations. I mean I love doing the girl’s weekend getaway thing, I love traveling alone even more, but there is nothing like going away with a man, being in “like” (or love), traveling to get away and enjoy one another’s company; driving for hours with the top down and wind swooshing through the car, music blasting, him looking sexy as hell with his Versace or Ray Ban’s on, while you recline in the passenger seat, holding his right hand and rubbing his thigh, your legs propped up partially on the dashboard, and you tingle in silence knowing he is thinking the same thing as you. Days full of fun, sight-seeing and exploration, filled with laughter and playful fisticuffs, to romantic evenings with the sun setting, changing clothes to go out on the town dancing; walking with hands paired and intertwined, while you go out experience the local night life after dinner; dancing and drinking martinis, getting that slight buzz you know will ultimately lead back to the hotel; rides up the elevator to the room, as he abruptly grabs you by the back of your neck and slightly tightens his grip, (and you like that ish) while you silently gasp in anticipation of electrifying kisses; elevator door opens, and you draw yourself closer, as you grasp his forearm tightly, and walk down the hall beside him while his gait increases, him trying to remain cool and calculated as he approaches the hotel room door….

Damn, let me stop, I need a drink now, and this is turning into a romance novel. My imagination is a bit too active. But for real, these are the thoughts in my head, and I swear I hope this happens to me, and happens soon. I can’t wait to find someone compatible to share these types of experiences with, and you know what, it is going to happen this summer. Mark my word.

So cheers…here’s to many happy, fun, summer road trips in your future!

Until next time,

Smooches sugas

Here is my new rule…

…NO MORE TEXTING FOR ME!

That’s it, I am done trying to communicate with another adult through text message, specifically MEN. I am sick of getting things misconstrued and sick of the inconsistent behavior. For me when grown people text each other, it makes them lazy; you don’t have to give a person all of your attention, you don’t have to practice good listening skills, and you do yourself and the other person a disservice because you miss out completely on any type of mental stimulation. I mean, we can’t even begin to learn how people communicate anymore; we don’t know if they are slow, careful speakers, if they talk with their hands, if they frame statements as questions, if they are smiling when they say that “joke” that you just took seriously. Do they really mean “maybe” or are they saying yes? We aren’t forced to wait to hear someone else out, we are busy typing multiple responses before they even have a chance to respond, and I admit I am guilty of this! We aren’t forced to look in the eyes of anyone anymore, and you know what they say, eyes are the window to the soul.  We have become a society of convenient daters, and with the cell phone you can now date several people simultaneously through texting. Ain’t nothing but a whole bunch of “phoneships”.  Dates are even initiated through texts, they go like this:

Him: Hi Marla, how are you?

Me: I am well, how are you?

Him: You want to go out?

Me (in my head): You couldn’t pick up the phone and ask me?

I know I am not the only person that feels this way. Well I am tired of it, and I say it won’t change unless we start expecting differently and not respond to these texts. Don’t get me wrong, texting is okay, but when you are getting to know someone,  they should be off limits! Texting is the fastest way to misread someone’s intention. Hell, leave out one comma and you could start a whole argument.  We don’t now people triggers or how they receive information, so play it safe and just make effort to see someone or at least hear their voice and give them a chance to elaborate and hear you.

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I recently had a conversation with someone that I really wanted to see, I mean really. We had one date, and I was looking forward to the next. He kept in touch after the date, you guessed it, through texts, sporadic at that. He finally got around to inquiring about my time, and because he misconstrued something in a text, I sat there looking stupid thinking he was about to ask me out.  Then when I tried to show him what he misread, I even screenshot the same conversation he had on his phone (all he had to do was scroll up), it just got worse. Then he said it was too much drama! WELL IF HE HAD PICKED UP THE PHONE WE WOULDN’T HAVE HAD THIS MISCOMMUNICATION!

I just read a quote, and I am going to end with this, it said: “Texting is a brilliant way to miscommunicate how you feel, and misinterpret what other people mean”. I completely agree, so join me, SAY NO TO TEXTING! Let’s get back to old fashion communicating and dating!

Until next time,

Smooches sugas!