I freaking hate cheap ass vodka!

Let me warn you now, this is going to be an extremely long post.

So yeah, it’s 3:56  am, the very early morning of New Year’s Eve and I just walked my big butt in the house. Mind you when you read this post, I would have not finished this post at 3:56, but some time in the afternoon. But I had to sit down at my computer and at least start this blog in a slightly inebriated state as I walked in the door because I SWEAR the way the universe set this night up, I couldn’t have made this story up in my best story telling efforts. I swear. Fair warning, the title of this blog doesn’t have anything to do with what occurred tonight in my escapades, but it sure as hell is important!

10:28 am – I decided tonight (well last night) to just go out. I have been off for a week and I didn’t want to regret not taking advantage of hanging out without a self-imposed curfew because I had to work the next morning.  And listen, I’ve never been one that needed anyone to prompt me to go out with them, I love going solo. So tonight I decided to get semi cute and  go to one of my favorite restaurants, Stoney River, and sit at the bar and have a martini and dinner.

You know I really love sitting at the bar when I dine alone, particularly at a nice restaurant because it can be a true social experiment; I never ask for a table anymore. Well tonight I had no expectations, I didn’t even realize I was going so late and I only had about an hour left before it closed at 10:00. I was feeling pretty cute tonight, but I really didn’t have on anything special, didn’t even really get my make up together, after all, this wasn’t the club or anything like that. I get to the restaurant and head to the bar. There was a lady on the end of the bar with a seat between her and another gentleman. I see them, nod and walk down to the other end of the bar putting about four chairs between me and the gentleman. You could tell they weren’t there together, but like me, they started a bar friendship that night. No biggie. I proceed to notice my favorite bartender isn’t there. When she came over she asked what I would like to drink and tonight I wanted a chocolate martini. I am particular about my vodka and I freaking hate cheap ass vodka.  20151230_212451But this martini was one of the best I have had in a long time. Of course she was about to use some brand of vanilla martini I don’t use, but after I got her straight, that thing gave me life. So I’m getting off the subject. I ordered my meal and when it got there I devoured it because I was already a little tipsy because I hadn’t really eaten all night.

In walks this gentleman with a Florida Seminoles t-shirt on, and he was tall and cute, but unassuming. I mean I am always catching a glimpse of eye candy at the bar, and the first thing I zoom on is the ring finger on that left hand. But really I didn’t think anything of him, he sat where it was a chair in between me and the gentleman already there. They seemed to know each other because they were talking but I wasn’t sure.  Well not even 2 minutes since he sat down he turns to me and says “what are those you’re eating” and I tell him in my inebriated-but-still-trying-to-sound-put-together-and-classy voice, “these are steak rolls”.  He then goes on to say, “they must be good because you going in with two hands”. *SCREECH* Wait a minute now, I was NOT eating those steak rolls with two hands. So he chuckles and THEN the gentleman that had been sitting at the bar the entire time not saying a word to me says “she sure was”. At this time everyone is having a laugh at my expense. Was I eating like that? I mean I wasn’t that hungry and I wasn’t going in like they claim. Okay so whatever, I play that shit off and told them I like to eat so leave me alone. We began a funny conversation and the Florida guy asks me where I’m from originally. I say Tennessee. Mind you the conversation is now between the three of us and the lady at the bar was smiling and just ear hustling. Pay attention, here is where the story gets real interesting. So the man who was there initially says “what part of Tennessee” and I said “Jackson”.  He gave me a weird smile and said “I know”. I asked him “how do you know about Jackson”, and he says “because I used to date you”. I laughed and the other guy laughed and I said “yeah whatever”. It got really awkward for about 10 seconds and I actually said “shit, did I date this guy?” WELL I BE DAMN…IT WAS MY EX Y’ALL..MY EX…like for real, for real, MY EX.

Like for real, this was a man I met when I first moved back to Tennessee, from Atlanta 14 years ago, and I was in my early 30s (I don’t think I was even over 31 years old when I met him). When I stared down the bar, I said “what is your name” and he said his name, I was like OH MY GOD! I hopped up and went and hugged him. Why I didn’t recognize him I have no idea. I mean it wasn’t a one night stand, shit, “L” and I and dated for a short minute and we had “relations”, but it had been over 12 years.  “L” actually moved from Jackson to Atlanta a year or so after we broke up so how in the world did we meet at some random bar over 12 years later, and he just moved to Texas two months ago. Coincidence or was the universe conspiring for this to happen? I mean I am going to have to really think on why he and I met again after all this time.

Anyway, back to my story, I was so excited to see him, and I asked him “why did we break up”, and that began the whole blame game. In all fairness though, I was such a MESS back then, overly religious, self righteous, insecure, naive, and just a hot mess. But he on the other hand was a player as I recalled, but of course he says that wasn’t true. 🙂

Well, “L” bought another round of drinks, wait, he paid for everyone’s tab too (#winning) and the night took on a life of its on.The young lady at the bar was from Alabama and had driven up from Montgomery alone to celebrate her 39th birthday.  We all leave as the restaurant closed, and headed out. “L” says, let’s go downtown to celebrate your birthday to the young lady because they clearly had become friends, and asked if I was going. Hell yes I’m going, let’s roll. So me , “L”, the Florida Seminole cutie, and the birthday girl all decided to go hang out in downtown Atlanta. The night was just beginning. But check this out, we had to convince this sweet lady that it was okay to get in the car with us. But y’all, she had an anxiety attack as she was getting into the truck. This lady pulls out an inhaler…and inhaler y’all! She was slightly panicking and told me “I’m claustrophobic”. LAWD, I thought she was ‘finna die right there in the back seat. It was one of those moments you see in the movie where you want to grab someone and shake them and say “get it together” I’m not lying. We spent five minutes calming her ass down. Whew child. Was this really happening? But once we got to our second spot and she had two more drinks, that girl wouldn’t stop talking, I mean she talked alllllll damn night, but she was the most authentic, honest, pure person I have met in a long time. I really mean that.

Okay, that’s enough details, if I shared the rest, you would be late for your plans tonight. Just know it involved a 3rd location and lots of more vodka. Heck, I didn’t know there was a bar that stayed open until 4:00 am in Marietta. If I told you the shit that happened there…but I won’t.

Now let me go pop these two ibuprofen and go back to bed.

Oh, and don’t worry, I’ll talk to “L” again. I can’t wait.






A little perspective

I will say, since moving to Atlanta, my dating life truly has been on FLEEK! In all fairness, let me qualify my statement. I have to be honest, I have been in an off and on relationship for a year now, and when I got here to Atlanta, I was single and began dating again, and excited about it. (I can’t go back and chronicle all those dates, we just have to pick up now) My ex swooped back in and sweet talked me, so, well you know how that goes. I’m am free again, and back on the market. And listen, for me “fleek” is relative, because I moved from Jackson, TN where I can count on two hands the number of actual dates I went on in 14 years.
Seriously, I swear I don’t know where this myth there is a shortage of heterosexual men in Atlanta comes from. I am enjoying my life at the moment. I really believe you attract what you don’t want, meaning what you expect or focus on is what you get. If you think there is a shortage, there will be. If you think there are more gay men than heterosexual men, that will be your reality. If you think men want to run game on you, I promise, you will keep attracting men that run game. Change your perspective. I keep meeting men who want relationships, like immediately. Like, seriously, they want to date and like most women, they don’t want me dating anyone else, they want me to cut folks out immediately. So this idea there are no marriage minded men here, shoot, that’s just not true.
Many people ask me, men in particular, am I dating just to have fun or am I dating to find the one. I am not a serial dater in the sense I just want to go out and have fun and get a free meal. I date only with the intention of becoming serious with one person. But in order to find the right one, I must date more than one person in order to vet them and learn if they are compatible.  I do have a slight dilemma, I am writing this blog to chronicle what it is like dating over 40 in Atlanta, but I really don’t see me on the market for long. It’s getting real out here.
Wish me luck.

Here goes…

12219495_10207118745102675_3417574452486113554_nAlright I am doing it already…DANG.  I have resisted forever anything that has to do with writing a blog, like, for what? But according to some of my Facebook friends, they want to hear the antics and colorful stories of my life; not just my life, but my life as a single woman, who happens to be a mom, who upped and moved in a week’s time from another state with my twin high-school aged boys, and recently ended a long distance relationship that wasn’t, and my new dating escapades.  So yeah, I know all  everyone wants to hear about are my dating escapades! But I get it, I’m pretty interesting huh? Whatever. But I’ll oblige and share, heck it just may give some single woman who think love is out of reach hope and the audacity to think she is worth it.  But I’ll talk more about that later.

Listen, my blog is about me, my life, my ways, hell, it’s all about ME.  If you have a problem with that, then listen suga, I’ll understand, I can be a big pill to swallow! But for real, for real, if you find yourself having a problem with something I say, or the way I say it, or the fact I believe I’m right pretty much all the damn time, then back away slowly now, because yeah, this is my space and I’m just going to be me. By the way, I curse, like a lot, and for real, there is nothing you can say that will stop me; I say y’all a lot, I over use the word like; I sometimes speak in broken english, use a lot of “ratchet-speak”, and leave out verbs intentionally, and say cause instead of because, even though I have two master degrees, well-spoken and a great writer; and finally, I love dismissing people with “girl bye”.  Oh, one more thing, I think I am right like 95% of the time, maybe closer to 98%,  for real.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way, welcome to my musings, my stories, and my very adventurous dating life as a single woman over 40 in Atlanta, Georgia.  Wait, people always say over 40, so let’s get the age question out of the way, I am 44 years old and yes I know, I don’t look like it and I don’t act like it either.  Now what? Get like me!  

So where do I start? Many adventures since I moved here, I guess I need to back this story up and give you a condensed version of my dating experiences since I moved here in June, and I will…in the next blog. I mean I need you to come back right? Ha. But for real, thanks for coming here to see what’s up with me. I hope you enjoy the ride!

Smooches sugas!